so I was like…you know

The rest of the world is on fire. Burning. PEOPLE ARE DYING! Bombs are dropping. AIDS is killing. Hunger is killing. We are sleeping. Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! I’m tired of the theological debates, the “conservative vs. liberal”, and the oil hungry fat cats. I’m tired and while a part of me wants to just sleep it all away, the other part of me knows that the world is burning. I can’t sleep a wink.

I have to remind myself, “Keep your eye on the prize, Sue. Keep your eye on the prize.” Don’t get tangled up in debates about gay marriage. Don’t politicize any part of Christ’s love. This world is not my home. I am a stranger, and before this boat sinks I must save as many as I can. I don’t care about couches. I don’t care about lawns. I don’t care about my purse. I try hard to be passionless, but I’m burning.

I get annoyed almost every day by the littlest, most ridiculous things. For instance, I don’t like it when people don’t know how to stand in line at Starbuck’s. Yes, there are two cash registers, but there is only one line. We all have places to go and people to see. Stay in the agreed upon “one line” at Starbuck’s. Do not stray from the line!

What about when people you know annoy you? I tend to get annoyed when people I work with think they’re “in the know” when in fact they know nothing. What’s worse is that I let it fester. I also hate it when I feel people have intruded into MY PERSONAL SPACE. I usually retreat and hide for a while until I think they’re gone. Then come back like a little mouse or something.

I’m a loser really. I have all these little hang ups that in the end hang me up. Why can’t I just let people be people? Heath often tells me that I must be the coolest person alive because I seem to be the expert on everything. He’s being sarcastic of course, but it is true. I think I know how things ought to be done and when I see others doing it “the wrong way” I get ticked off and just stew. I’m annoyed with myself right now.

I go through my days frustrated, lonely and upset. It is a wonder to me that I am still alive in many ways. Driving alone is something to make a person go mad. So many things I try to accomplish on my own. I have so many responsibilities and all of them I try do all by myself. I read this earlier today and my jaw just about hit the ground:

Brother, are you fainting in prayer? Look up. Your blessed Advocate has already claimed your answer, and you would grieve and disappoint Him if you were to give up the conflict in the very moment when victory is on its way to meet you. He has gone in for you into the inner chamber, and already holds up your name upon the palms of His hands; and the messenger, which is to bring you your blessing, is now on his way, and the Spirit is only waiting your trust to whisper in your heart the echo of the answer from the throne, “It is done.” –A. B. Simpson

…”waiting your trust” is what pierced me. How long will it take before I trust in the Lord? How long will it be when I finally give my Life whole-heartedly to Christ? I try so hard to do it on my own and only end up biting my nails off and failing in the end and inevitably distancing myself further from the Father. Prayer and faith. Prayer and faith.

My husband, Heath, and I are complete opposites in many ways. I am not a social butterfly. He is. I am extremely analytical. He is not. My idea of a great date is alone with him at home while we eat take out and watch a rental. His idea of a great date is a dinner at the coolest and newest restaurant and seeing live music until two in the morning.

Sometimes I wonder “How did we end up together?” But then I see his face when he gets home from work and my heart skips a beat. And sometimes he can just give me that all knowing look when I’m not feeling so good and I know that he just gets it.

While we may “appear” to be polar opposites, we have a sixth sense when it comes to one another and no one, and I mean no one else gets it.

I love you, Heath.

…and I just pulled a nose hair out that was about an inch long. NO JOKE!

CBGB Moves to Las Vegas

07/13/2006 2:00 PM, Yahoo! Music Dotmusic

CBGB is to close in September, it has been confirmed.

The legendary New York City club has been at the center of the threat of closure for months, in a dispute between the owners and founder and current tenant Hilly Kristal.

It now seems there is no future for the venue in the city, despite its enormous influence on introducing the likes of Blondie, Talking Heads, and the Ramones onto the ’70s music scene.

However, Kristal has now revealed he’s planning to relaunch CBGB in Las Vegas in 2008 and he intends to take the spirit and even the contents of the seminal landmark with him.

He explained: “I am taking the bars with me, I am taking the stage–I’m taking the urinal that Joey [Ramone] pissed in with me.

“I going to take a lot of things–anything that makes this place CBGB,” said Kristal, who is currently planning the live schedule for the final months of the venue.

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Not that I’m an expert or even try to pretend that I know an ounce about punk rock, but you can’t expect anyone to think punk is alive and well when CBGB’s moves Las Vegas. What the…?

Our cat, Queen Amadala, (affectionately known to us as Padme) died last night in my arms. I held her tight and put my head next to her’s while I whispered in her ear, “We love you, Padme. We love you, my sweet,” as she passed in the night. I held her lifeless body for a while waiting for her to pur as I snuggled her. Even the vet cried and hugged both me and sweet Padme.

I will forever miss her. She was the Queen of our house.

got nothing for you! I’m bored and tired of my job, as well! I know that I will long for these days when the kids get back to school and soccer season starts up again. (Heath and I both coach! How insane is that?) However, today I am bored. Not much to do in the office.

I am in the process of changing jobs. I have a second interview today at a Jewish Day School called Shalom. They have over 30 holidays plus most of the summers off. In addition to that the pay is more. Now, mind you, the job has not been offered to me yet, but the very thought of it seems so daunting. No, not the holidays…CHANGE. I hate change. I really, really do, but in my heart of hearts I know that I cannot stay at my present job because of the very structure of this association is unstable financially. Not to mention working for a bunch of librarians can be pretty darn difficult at times. They are so nit picky and they take too long to get things done. Seriously. I’m not joking about this. If there were two ways to do something, a hard way and an easy way, they’d choose the hard way every time!

At any rate, I have a lot to think about and too much time to think about it all. Sometimes decisions are made so much better impulsively, but then again sometimes they are not.

Rob Bell is Coming to Sacramento this Friday night. I might be going - not sure yet. At any rate I keep singing…

Rob Bell - Got the ill communication.
It’s like Rob Bell - Got the ill communication. uh uh uh uh

I’ll give anyone $10.00 if they can guess what I am referring to and can recite the real lyrics - MINUS my husband Heath Dalrymple! Oh and you have to tell me who the artist(s) is/are!

BTW…In no way do I think Rob Bell has poor communication skills. His name always makes me think of this song.

So as some of you know, my mother-in-law just bought me a new purse. I really love it. I never buy myself nice things, and for special occasions Heath’s mom usually splurges on my behalf. My birthday is in August and due to an EXCELLENT sale at Macy’s she went ahead and bought my present a little earlier than usual: a Kate Spade purse. I really, really, really like it! My friends from my old church never gave me a hard time about the great gifts I received from her. In fact, they were always very happy for me and shared in my pure delight! I was very wrong in assuming that some new acquaintances and others would react the same. Boy was I wrong! Here are a few comments I’ve received:

“If I were you, I’d sell that and give your money to the poor.”
“You should sell that on ebay and give the money to a worthwhile cause.”

What I find ironic is that one of these people has all sorts of high tech gadgets swimming in her purse and the other person I had just given a significant amount of money to! Here’s the question: Should I sell this gift? Should I no longer accept her gifts because the money she uses to spend on them could go towards something more worthwhile? Should I hide my purse in the closet out of shame?

I miss my old church today. I miss my friends.